Hogwarts productions

Q) Hogwarts made a movie based on the love story of 2 non-wizards - Salim and Anarkali. What was it called?

A) Muggle-e-Azam

Scaling new heights

"Arre yaar, tomorrow we have to go and scale  the tallest mountain in Maharashtra, I'm quite nervous."

"Dyood, what's the rush, Kalsubai na? Manage kar lenge"

jewelry for mother

Q) Why can't you hear what your mother's saying when she is buying jewelery?




A) Because she is mum-bling.

Thanks to airjetthefirst for submitting this.

Aashiqui 2

Saason ki zaroorat hain jaise,
Saason ki zaroorat hain jaise,
zindagi ke liye, Bas 2 sanam chahiye, aashiqui 2 ke liye.

Mamuli chips

Q: Bina cheese ka pizza insignificant/mamuli kyun ho jata hai?

A: It becomes nacheez

Spud man

Q: What would iron man's secret identity be called if he liked potatoes?
A: Tony Starch

All in the family

In a movie, the hero's maternal grandfather killed the hero's father. During the final battle, the hero shouts at his grandfather:

"You not only murdered my father, you also fathered my mother."

Mao and his comrades were playing hide-and-seek. He said "No peking, no peking". Hence, the name change to Beijing. 

Who nose the answer?

If you accidentally let one rip in public, but want to avoid suspicion, how will you throw people off the scent?

True Story

X: "Is 'The Hobbit' coming out this year?"
Me: Thought so ... but which one in particular?

A bear walks into a bar, tells the bartender "i'll have a rum ... ... ... ... and a coke" The bartender says "what's with the big pause?" The bear says, "dunno mate, have had these from the start"

Ewww

Did you hear about the girl who had an infection on her foot? The doc said that she had 'puss in boots'

Sequel to Ra.One

One night stands

Dracula and Minnie Mouse once had a one night stand and forgot about it.



Rat gayi, bat gayi.


Thanks to Puja Vora for this.

Planet of the Apes

Q: Why are the fight sequences in 'Planet of the Apes' all about being sneaky and defeating the enemy using an element of surprise?

A: Gorilla Warfare! (Shivaji fans, no offence please. Jai Maharashtra)

A-G, O-G!

What is my name if it is defined by the function: f(x,y) = 2y/x??

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Answer: f(1,2) = 4; f(4,2) = 1; So name is Lakhan

Courtesy: Pool Jaisinghani

It's magic .. it's magic

What do you call a wizard who ...
Q: ... keeps tripping over things?
A: Stumbledore

Q: ... is kind of good natured buffoon?
A: Bumbledore

Q: ... talks with a thunderous voice?
A: Rumbledore

Q: ... is a Gujju bloke who likes clicking photos?
A: Prof. 'Snape'

Itna paisa mein itnaich milega

Q: Which bank would 'women of negotiable affection' bank with?
A: ING Veshya

Holy grandmother of God!

Q: Which bank is the grandmother of all banks in Maharashtra?


A: आई ची आई ची आई

Baizzat bury

Q: AB Baby and Piggy Chops go to the cemetery to bury an old relative. Nice clear sky, lush green grass, the whole shebang. They reach the cemetry, and are surprised to observe that the grave is in fact missing. What song do they sing?

A: "Ik taraf hai aasma. Ik taraf zameen. Kabar nahi." (Artistic liberties taken)