A bear walks into a bar, tells the bartender "i'll have a rum ... ... ... ... and a coke" The bartender says "what's with the big pause?" The bear says, "dunno mate, have had these from the start"

Ewww

Did you hear about the girl who had an infection on her foot? The doc said that she had 'puss in boots'

Sequel to Ra.One

One night stands

Dracula and Minnie Mouse once had a one night stand and forgot about it.



Rat gayi, bat gayi.


Thanks to Puja Vora for this.

Planet of the Apes

Q: Why are the fight sequences in 'Planet of the Apes' all about being sneaky and defeating the enemy using an element of surprise?

A: Gorilla Warfare! (Shivaji fans, no offence please. Jai Maharashtra)

A-G, O-G!

What is my name if it is defined by the function: f(x,y) = 2y/x??

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Answer: f(1,2) = 4; f(4,2) = 1; So name is Lakhan

Courtesy: Pool Jaisinghani

It's magic .. it's magic

What do you call a wizard who ...
Q: ... keeps tripping over things?
A: Stumbledore

Q: ... is kind of good natured buffoon?
A: Bumbledore

Q: ... talks with a thunderous voice?
A: Rumbledore

Q: ... is a Gujju bloke who likes clicking photos?
A: Prof. 'Snape'

Itna paisa mein itnaich milega

Q: Which bank would 'women of negotiable affection' bank with?
A: ING Veshya

Holy grandmother of God!

Q: Which bank is the grandmother of all banks in Maharashtra?


A: आई ची आई ची आई

Baizzat bury

Q: AB Baby and Piggy Chops go to the cemetery to bury an old relative. Nice clear sky, lush green grass, the whole shebang. They reach the cemetry, and are surprised to observe that the grave is in fact missing. What song do they sing?

A: "Ik taraf hai aasma. Ik taraf zameen. Kabar nahi." (Artistic liberties taken)