Saturday, August 27, 2011

One night stands

Dracula and Minnie Mouse once had a one night stand and forgot about it.

Rat gayi, bat gayi.

Thanks to Puja Vora for this.

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Planet of the Apes

Q: Why are the fight sequences in 'Planet of the Apes' all about being sneaky and defeating the enemy using an element of surprise?
A: Gorilla Warfare! (Shivaji fans, no offence please. Jai Maharashtra)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

A-G, O-G!

What is my name if it is defined by the function: f(x,y) = 2y/x??


Answer: f(1,2) = 4; f(4,2) = 1; So name is Lakhan

Courtesy: Pool Jaisinghani

Monday, July 25, 2011

It's magic .. it's magic

What do you call a wizard who ...
Q: ... keeps tripping over things?
A: Stumbledore

Q: ... is kind of good natured buffoon?
A: Bumbledore

Q: ... talks with a thunderous voice?
A: Rumbledore

Q: ... is a Gujju bloke who likes clicking photos?
A: Prof. 'Snape'

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Itna paisa mein itnaich milega

Q: Which bank would 'women of negotiable affection' bank with?
A: ING Veshya

Friday, July 08, 2011

Holy grandmother of God!

Q: Which bank is the grandmother of all banks in Maharashtra?

A: आई ची आई ची आई

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Baizzat bury

Q: AB Baby and Piggy Chops go to the cemetery to bury an old relative. Nice clear sky, lush green grass, the whole shebang. They reach the cemetry, and are surprised to observe that the grave is in fact missing. What song do they sing?

A: "Ik taraf hai aasma. Ik taraf zameen. Kabar nahi." (Artistic liberties taken)

Friday, June 10, 2011

Collective Responsibility

Q: What is the collective noun (e.g. a pride of lions) for the people working in the banking industry?

A: A wunch of bankers

(credits to Neil Gaiman!!)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dharam paaji - mausam ka haal

Q: Why can Dharmendra never be a weather forecaster?
A: No matter the weather, he'll always go 'Aaj mausam bada beimaan hai ... aanewaala koi toofaan hai ...'

Friday, February 25, 2011

Pig and needle

The pig and the needle, both lay claim to the haystack. So they went to court.
Who was the plaintiff and who was the defendant?

Ans) Pig was the plaintiff (Sue-ar) and the needle was the defendant(Sue-ee)

bacon and pinpricks to - Champu

Friday, February 11, 2011

Technologically challenged nepali princess

Q. What will Manisha Koirala say when she is struggling to unzip a .rar file in her car?

A. Ik rar karna mushkil hai, In car karna mushkil hai !

Friday, January 28, 2011

Want employment? (Marathi joke)

प्र) एक माणूस बेरोझगार असतो. तो रात्री एक गुलाब फ्रीजमध्ये ठेवतो. का?

कारण त्याला वाटते कि सकाली रोज गार झाला कि त्याला रोजगार मिळेल.

Thanks to Manish Baswante for this.