Tuesday, April 25, 2006

How B avoids XX grade...

Q. Why is B never late to class?

Ans. Coz his paunch reaches the class 10 minutes before he does.


P.S. (dis)credit to Emani.

P.P.S. This joke coming from me... =))

Monday, April 24, 2006

apple and the pea

q) what did the apple say to the pea?
a) come here, I-pod!

It's all rational

Please dont murder me for this :D


Happy Singh: Didi, tuannu kuch pata hai ki Jesus di koi didi thi ?
Happy Kaur: Nahin thi ?
Happy Singh: Kyon ? Tuannu kaise pata ?
Happy Kaur: Accha sannu yeh das ki Jesus di didi hondi te udda naam ki honda ?
Happy Singh: Jassi ?
Happy Kaur: Veeery good! Accha ab chamka ki Jesus di behen kyon nahin si ?
Happy Singh: OOOOOOOOH kyonki Jassi jaisa koi nahin

Neil & Nikkei

Arvind Iyengar's fatta goes as follows:

Q) What did Neil Armstrong say when he landed on the moon?

A) I'm the Neil, I'm the man, rockstar, superstar.

Neil & Nikkei

Arvind Iyengar's fatta goes as follows:

Q) What did Neil Armstrong say when he landed on the moon?

A) I'm the Neil, I'm the man, rockstar, superstar.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Saturday, April 22, 2006

happy and gay

two sardars were feeling happy. happy felted disgusted and left.

all brickbats to be directed towards ghoda for this one.

Puns upon a time

Kakkadi to AdMi: Did you ever spot a leopard in ur IIT stay.
AdMi to Kakkadi: No.. I didn't.. leopards are already spotted.

Throwing around weight

Bolli MI ka CG kaise ban gaya ?
Uski pa(h)unch bahut door tak hai.

Blonde jokes

Found these here.

  • A blonde walks into a bar... Ouch.
  • Two blondes are walking in a forest, they spot a pair of tracks. One suggests they're bear tracks, while the other says that they a fox tracks. Then they get hit by a train.

Friday, April 21, 2006

wordplay

What do you get when you mix hot water, an egg and vinod?
A bollied egg

why does aditya mittal travel a lot?
kyonki AdMi musaafir hai

what is the colour of sammeta's posterior?
RO's ass are red, violets are blue

*****AARGH!!! warning*****

what did sammeta do after he read the joke above?
wo RO padaa

then why did golu laugh?
he found the joke punny

Diet Control

Akbar always lost to Birbal at chess. He asked Birbal the funda, and Birbal said.. "U're not really thinking".
So Akbar went to a Gym and took to dieting...and lost a lot of weight. Now he started beating Birbal at chess because now he was thin-king.

panes

Q) Why did Machis have to undergo treatment when he sat on Sriram Emani?

A) Sriram was a pain in the @$$.

gross

Q) Jab Hillu moonh kholta hain to tatti kyon bahar nikalta hain?

A) Hillu == He-loo == Gents toilet => he is full of shit

impressive

Why did shrini order cold turkey take out on a friday night?
Because he couldn't find a hot chick to go out with

What is common between Bolli and kids running on the beach?
Kids leave their impression behind and Bolli's behind leaves an impression

Reservations

A turtle and a hare both get exactly 80% marks in their board exams. The cutoff is 81%. Only the turtle gets in. Why?

(Ans) Sports quota re...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

cheers!

q) what is the ULTIMATE destination of drunkards in US?
a) batli more (or balti more :?)

merry marry jokes

q) why doesn't brooke shields marry james bond?
a) cos then she will become "brooke bond"



q) why doesn't bo derek marry emam siddique
a) cos then she will become "bo siddique"

god giri

q) when is god the happiest?
a) when the heroine says "muhje bhagwaan ke liye chhod do"

Lingering thoughts

Q) What metal does the lingerie maker use the most?

A) Brass

La Liga

Q) Which Spanish football club requests you to take from a bar?

A) Barcelona (Bar ce lona)

Damn!

Q) What has happened when the water has breached the dykes? (Kakkadi's original)

A) The lesbians' water broke.


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

cardinal sin

What do you call Bolli when he orders 10 large pizzas for lunch?
A GULTton

What do you call shashi when he orders 10 large pizzas for lunch?
nothing, because bolli has already eaten shashi's share

Precision

Hashish to AdMi: Check out these day-a-jokes.
AdMi to Hashish: I have heard all of them, but these are new.
Hashish to AdMi: If you have heard all of them, how are they new?
AdMi to Hashish: Yes, these are identical to the old ones, but then these are "delta different"!

Why did they cross the road?

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
Dead.

Why did the chicken cross the muddy road and not come back?
Because he didn't want to be a dirty double-crosser.

Why did the quantum chicken not cross the road?
He was already on both sides.

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
To get to the same side.

Monday, April 17, 2006

shady bum!

B to R: you shady bum
R to B: yeah, i've been working on my tan!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

God of war

If a person pisses off someone, maar khata hain.
Agar aadmi ko khush kardeta hain, Mars khata hain.

For those who do not know funda, Mars is a brand of chocolate. For more info, check out the following link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Bar

B Warned...

Q: Why must you never irritate Bolli?

Ans: Coz then he will paunch you.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

repeating units connected by covalent chemical bonds

Q) What do you call a bunch of bollis standing holding hands? (Thanks to Priyanka Lahiri for that)

A)Bollimer

RHCP

Q) What is the process in which a Caliph has premarital sex called?
A) Californication

Stretch marks == Paunch lines

Q) What part of Bolli's jokes are funny?
A) The ending, because Bolli always has a paunch-line.

Q) Why is bolli so effective in poltugiri?
A) kyonki uski paunch door door tak hai :)

Q) A sitcom starring Bolli, Golu, Machi, Maachis and Kekde ...
A) Hum paunch

Heard some place

Why is a dumb cat unable to walk properly?

The cat is unable to say "Mew", which means that Mu = 0, the co-efficient of friction is zero, which means that it frequently slips while walking.

Shares

If two of my lionesses have broken ribs, one lion has a fractured paw and 3 lion cubs have bruises, what has happened?

My pride has been hurt.


What do you call a lion that is capable of doing many things? (Thanks to Saxena for this one)

Share Can

Google jokes

If Google made a product that rapes, what would it be called?
gRapes

If Google made a guitar strings, what would it be called?
gStrings

If Google made Singaraju Dheeraj Prasadm what would the product be called? (Thanks to Saxena for this one)
G(i)golu

Opening Salvo

Two Christian guys, who are best friends, have a thing for the same girl. They shake hands, and one of them goes, "May the best man loose!". Why ?

Because the winner would get married to the girl, and the loser would be the best man at the wedding.