Read The Last Two Posts

To Sashi's post below:

... and I sa(u)nitize

Read the Below One First

To Shashi's last one:

I Mahavirize.

The worst (best) joke of 2008

Q) When does apple become ale?

A) When the 'p' is silent.

I apologize.

T Joke

Q) Why does Jet Li never drink tea?

A) Because he comes from Chai-na.

Blame it on The Mint for messing with Samar Srivastava's mind which made him come up with this.

Condom joke

Q) What would a Shah Rukh Khan movie be called in which an sexual escapade results in twins being born due to a faulty condom?



A) Rubber ne banadi jodi


Thanks to inputs from Ram Kakkad and Vikram Chopra.

Iceland Joke

Q) What is the capital of Iceland?



A) $2.50



All brickbats will be redirected to Samar Srivastava.

Antz Joke

Q) Why do ants never move in groups of ten?


A) Because they'd be tenants and they'd have to pay rent.

Source: Ram Kakkad

News piece of the month - 1

Michael Jackson tried killing himself Wednesday morning by jumping off his boat. The police found him last night bobbing up and down on a small buoy.

Source: A colleague of Amit Ghorawat's.

M&A joke

Q) If a merger were to take place between Goldman Sachs and Citigroup, what would the new entity be called?


A) Sachs and the Citi.


We thank Piyush Gahlot for this one.

Israel joke

Q) If the movie "Rab ne banadi jodi" were to be made in Israel, what would it be called?



A) Rabbi ne banadi jodi

Doubt about markets....

(comments by Jose)

Definition:
In.vest.or (n.): someone who has lost his shirt on the stock market.

Afterthought:
Are loan sharks "fin" junta?

Desperately Seeking Helen.

Q : What do you pay an eight legged creature from Greece ??

A : Octtroy

(thanks to Giddu for dreaming up this one)

On wall street, it is noticed that a lot of people have exactly the same sized penises. What is the phenomenon called?

(Ans) Private Equity

:D

Bad Boy Gone Good

Q : When does Gulshan Grover become Gulshan Grocer ???

A : When he travels with the speed of light.

(At that Speed, V=C )

Le Nozze Di Hairo.

Q : Why couldn't the two strands of hair marry each other after they fell in love ?

A : Because under Indian Laws , 'baal vivah' is illegal.

onion pickle

Q) What is the opposite of onion?


A) Pickle

Funda: Onion == peeaaj X peekal == pickle

Richie err.. River Rich.

Q : Why is the River Rich ?


A : Because it has two Banks !

Sherlock Holmes Taxes

Q) Why didn't Sherlock Holmes ever pay taxes?

A)He could make some Brilliant Deductions.


Thanks to this woman for this.

Mommy Mommy !!!

Q : What did baby corn ask mom corn ???

A : Where is Pop corn ?

Correction.

Q :Why did Shruti change her name and correct it to Shraxis?

A : Because UTI bank is now Axis bank.

Paradise Lost

(found on an IIMA noticeboard)

The Dead Poets Society meets once a week in a remote corner of heaven. Here you will find an esteemed bunch of departed poets engaging in lively (sorry, deadly) discussions and gen time-pass.. they play games such as 'whats the good wordsworth', 'lock and keats', 'tennison hard courts' and so on..Once Chaucer, Elliot, Milton, and Marlowe were playing monopoly. The game is evenly poised when the throw comes to Milton. He can hardly concentrate with the noise the others are making. Elliot has a tooth ache and is shouting 'My Cavity, My Cavity, there's nothing like my cavity'.. Milton fumbles and his throw goes wild..it lands under a sofa, gone for ever..Milton pondered and remarked...what?

(Ans) Pair o' dice lost (Highlight as usual)

Akele Ho? Mujhse Dosti Karoge?

Q: Which disease do you get if you dial those 'Friend' helplines one time too many, or have too long-distance a relationship for too long a time?
A: Hearing AIDS :P

Himessss Reloaded

For extreme Himesh Reshammiya fans.

Jai: tera naam kya hai Basanti?
Basanti: Suroor.

(For the clueless- meditate on the powers of 13. This, and this may help.)

People's Take

Q. What's the vector form of Sridevi?


A. Tabu (coz Sridevi:Chandni :: Tabu:Chandni-Bar)



Q. ram sita hai, to ram kaun hai?


A. Darzi

Tasty bites

Q1: If Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy and Shaan opened a restaurant, what dish would you get there?

A1: Instant Korma (Link.)

Q2: What would be the tallest building of Transylvania (Dracula waali)?
A2: Vampire State Building

(Q2 courtesy Prady)

Chic flick

If you saw a bevy of considerably hot women accompanied by a lone little girl, what ad jingle would ring in your mind?



Chic chic chic chicklet!

Magic in God's feet

When the earth was being created, Lord Brahma sanctioned the creation of Mumbai. The planning was to be done by the architects of Lord Indra, who did a fine job with the map of Mumbai. When the map was sent to Lord Vishnu for approval and placed at his feet, the entire region of Andheri disappeared from the map.

Why?




A) Kyon ki Bhagwan ke charan main sirf dheri hain, Andheri nahin.

Without Arms

In some places, it is illegal for a man with no hands to carry a gun.

Is this disarmament?

thanks to Baccha:

Which Australian cricketer is the God of fish?

(Ans) Gillchrist... because Gill Christ (highlight)

.

Computer joke

Q) There was once a woman called Bunty Kaur who had a boyfriend. One day, when her boyfriend broke up with her, the computer program crashed. Why?



A) Because Kaur Dump ho gaya.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

University Love

Q) If a person finds the love of his/her life in MIT, which song from Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna will he/she sing?




A) MITwa

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Rome..

continuing this joke..

Q: Suppose you go to the Subway at HN. What would your destination be once you leave subway? (To help you, suppose you go to any other Subway, your destination after leaving it would still remain the same) Whom would you meet?

Ans:
Ram.
Rome --- Sub ways lead to Rome.
Rome rome mein base hain Ram...

Lion Joke? Hah. Here's a Mouse Joke Now :P

Mickey mouse on his visit to India was mesmerized by the Indian culture. More specifically it was the Rama's character in Ramayana that touched him the most. He was so moved by the epic that he decided to learn more abt it. In order to peruse his interest it was advised that he travelled to Himalayas as the great sages there could help him learn more abt Rama. Mickey was very lucky to meet a great sage in Himalayas who promised him to teach abt Rama and Ramayana. The sage tried hard to teach Mickey,but Mickey failed to pick up repeatedly. After many patient sessions the sage got frustrated and threw Mickey on a near by wall. As soon as Mickey hit the wall he became a scholar of Ramayana. Kaise?

As Mickey hit the wall he became wall Mickey(Valmiki).

Another lion joke

Once upon a time in a jungle there was a lioness. She was unhappy with her life because she was very ugly and nobody took any notice of her. But the lioness had one specialty, she was very good at hunting and was one of the best hunters in the jungle. One day while hunting, the lioness caught hold of an old rabbit. As she was about to kill the rabbit, the rabbit pleaded to her to spare his life and in return he promised to give the lioness anything she wanted. The lioness gave it a thought and agreed. She told the rabbit that if he can tell her a way by which she can become a beauty queen, she will spare his life. On hearing this, the old wise rabbit pointed towards a nearby hill. On top of it was a large rock. The view from the rock was magnificent. The rabbit told the lioness to go and sit on top of the rock and all her problems will be solved. The lioness thought the rabbit was bluffing her. So she took the rabbit along with her to the rock and gave it a try. To her surprise, it worked! All the lions were noticing her and she received many proposals for date. She thanked the rabbit for her favour and the rabbit breathed a sigh of relief and hopped away safely to his house. How did the rabbit solve the problem for the lioness?




When the lioness sat on the rock she became SherOn Stone (Sharon Stone)


Thanks to this woman for the 'joke'.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

What people do when they have no work

A random discussion on the EP fourth year group about batch t-shirt costs yielded this.


All credit to Chris Verghese.

Name That Knight!

Thanks to Baccha for:

What was the perverted medieval knight called?

(Ans) Sir Glancealot

:)

Limerick :D

Once the great man Alfred Nobel
Married a singer, rather ignoble:
Her name was Cher;
Alas, the marriage fare
Was a disaster called Chernobyl

Balle Balle

Q) What did the chaatwala at chowpaati give to the arrogant Sardar?

A) Bhaav Paaji

Bad for business

(This is slightly in bad taste, so please appreciate the pun, nothing else)
Q: What do you call a doomed-to-fail terrorist group comprising of old, forgetful people?
A: Al-Zaymar. (<-- Highlight)

Cricket joke 1

Q) What cricketing shot would a lecherous person with a foot fetish be a good player of?




A) The Leg Glance

Blogged with Flock

Hurr

A man orders prawns at a restaurant and the very stuck up irreverent waiter refuses to serve him any, so what is the dialogue between them?


Jhinga lala hurr.

Coz love's in the air!

Q. Ancient Rome is the favourite destination for Valentine's day. Why?

A. It's Rome-antique (Romantic)

Brett Lee joke

Q) Why can prostitutes play Brett Lee well?


A) Because they are hookers.

Same difference

Q: What is the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
A: One pulls out habits from a rat