All in the family

In a movie, the hero's maternal grandfather killed the hero's father. During the final battle, the hero shouts at his grandfather:

"You not only murdered my father, you also fathered my mother."

Mao and his comrades were playing hide-and-seek. He said "No peking, no peking". Hence, the name change to Beijing. 

Who nose the answer?

If you accidentally let one rip in public, but want to avoid suspicion, how will you throw people off the scent?

True Story

X: "Is 'The Hobbit' coming out this year?"
Me: Thought so ... but which one in particular?

A bear walks into a bar, tells the bartender "i'll have a rum ... ... ... ... and a coke" The bartender says "what's with the big pause?" The bear says, "dunno mate, have had these from the start"

Ewww

Did you hear about the girl who had an infection on her foot? The doc said that she had 'puss in boots'